Coming of Age: How Adolescence Shapes Us

Adolescence is the most formative yet misunderstood period of our lives. At a time of heightened concern about teenagers, Coming of Age draws on a decade of expert research to get beneath the stereotypes, expose the myths and reveal the important reasons why teens behave the way they do.

Covering all the characteristic behaviours of adolescents - from peer pressure and risk-taking, to sex, love, bullying, friendship and more - adolescent psychologist Lucy Foulkes shows that time and again we mistake, dismiss and even try to prevent what is actually normal and healthy. Among many surprising insights, she explains why self-consciousness, anxiety and sensation-seeking are crucial features of this developmental phase. She shows that teenagers are socially conservative as much as rebellious, and that apparent recklessness is usually calculated. She reveals why being popular can be just as hard as being lonely, and why friendships at this age shape us for life.

Adolescence is often difficult, sometimes extremely so, and most of us have yet to come to terms with our own. And yet Foulkes shows that adolescents have an extraordinary capacity for resilience, empathy and mutual support, and that even the most challenging experiences are part of an essential process of self-discovery. This is why understanding adolescence is the key to understanding ourselves.

Review

Thank goodness . . . for this timely . . . and eminently sensible book . . . You will read this book and sigh in recognition . . . just knowing that everything they – and we – struggle with is normal, and necessary, is helpful -- Lucy Denyer ― Telegraph

Excellent and insightful . . . As an academic psychologist at Oxford University who has been studying adolescent cognition for more than a decade, Foulkes is steeped in knowledge about, as well as respect for, teenage life. She expertly marshals clinical research, both classic texts and recent findings, interlaced with moving accounts from people . . . who open up about their formative years . . . It’s worth getting adolescence right because it doesn’t ever go away -- Kate Womersley ― Observer

A wise and compassionate book, and moving too ... I imagine I might want to reread this book when my own children become teens. But for now, I found it helped me better understand my own awkward adolescence ... Once we better understand the psychology of these awkward, in-between years we can start to be a bit kinder towards our awkward, in-between selves. And who wouldn't want that? ― New Statesman

Compelling, useful and fascinating . . . revealing its unwritten rules and some really vital insights -- Jo Brand

Lucy Foulkes’s wonderful and deeply moving book shows us the potentially positive aspects of adolescent experiences so often seen as negative. You will almost certainly find yourself reassessing your own teenage years -- Mark Haddon, author of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time

About the Author

Dr Lucy Foulkes is a psychologist who researches mental health and social development in adolescence. She is currently a senior research fellow at the Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Families, an honorary lecturer in psychology at UCL and a research fellow at Oxford University. She is the author of What Mental Illness Really Is (and What It Isn't) and has written for the Guardian, New Scientist and numerous other publications and has been interviewed in The Times, VICE and on the BBC Radio 4's All in the Mind and Start the Week.