The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)

How can we have better relationships?

In this Sunday Times bestseller, leading psychotherapist Philippa Perry reveals the vital do's and don'ts of relationships. This is a book for us all. Whether you are interested in understanding how your upbringing has shaped you, looking to handle your child's feelings or wishing to support your partner, you will find indispensable information and realistic tips in these pages. Philippa Perry's sane, sage and judgement-free advice is an essential resource on how to have the best possible relationships with the people who matter to you most.

Made me think about me and who I am and my parents and who they are and maybe, hopefully, one day what sort of parent I might strive to be ― Dolly Alderton

I don't have kids but [this book] is a fascinating read on the emotional baggage we all carry ― Elizabeth Day, How to Fail podcast

The Easter holidays were a complete joy because of your book - I feel about a trillion times more relaxed and connected as a parent and I have also found it very helpful for my sobriety and recovery ― Bryony Gordon

EVERY parent should read this book, however old their child. In fact, any adult in a relationship should read it too. Distilled in less than 250 pages is a road map to healthy relationships. Required reading ― Express

Not got kids? It doesn't matter, as the wonderful psychotherapist Philippa Perry's latest book is actually about using our pasts to understand ourselves (...) it's also an excellent book for reminding yourself: life is hard and you're doing your best - so try not to beat yourself up for everyday mistakes ― Stylist

So clear and true ... can't stop recommending it to people ... helpful for all relationships in life, not just parent-child ― Nigella Lawson

Not got kids? It doesn't matter, as the wonderful psychotherapist Philippa Perry's latest book is actually about using our pasts to understand ourselves and how we react to situations that test our patience and emotions. She explains that these sharp reactions might well be down to what happened in our childhoods - and the flashpoints that these emotions can stir up makes for fascinating reading whether you're actively parenting or not. It's also an excellent book for reminding yourself: life is hard and you're doing your best - so try not to beat yourself up for everyday mistakes ― Stylist

If you're determinedly not a self-help kind of reader (like me), make an exception for [this book]. And if you're not a parent, don't dismiss it. The message is one of non-judgemental kindness. The sophisticated psychoanalytical version of my "count to ten and then say something kind" advice to my kids (and myself) when things start to fall apart ― Vogue

As a mother of a three year old, I have an aversion to the endless saccharine social-media posts about parenting. Perry's book is the antithesis of all that - practical and logical ― Elle

Philippa Perry goes through each stage of parenthood, from pregnancy to the teen years, suggesting emotional techniques that will help you to have a strong and healthy relationship with your babies and yourself ― Mother & Baby

It gave me hope as a new parent that whatever learnt behaviour you've got from your mum and dad (...) you can learn from that but it doesn't have to stay with you ― Babita Sharma, BBC News

In fact, I'd say Philippa Perry is one of the wisest, most sane and secure people I've ever met ― Decca Aitkenhead, Sunday Time Magazine

she writes with an inquisitive elegance rarely found in parenting guides (...) the book is still firm with parents but also forgiving (...) it is forgiving and persuasive - God, it's persuasive. I've yet to meet a parent who hasn't altered their parenting to some degree after reading it, myself included

― Hadley Freeman, the Guardian

I'm going to be honest Philippa, this has genuinely had such a positive impact on my life and my relationship with my daughter - so thank you very much for that ― Josh Widdicombe

A wise book on parents and children ― The Times

The main message is that is that it's best to acknowledge, rather than dismiss, children's feelings (...) and that parenting is not about perfection ― i Newspaper

I've had the most wonderful feedback from this episode. People stopping me on the street to say how much they've love the book's advice. Philippa's wisdom and delivery has resonated with many parents out there. I can't thank her enough for her time and energy ― Happy Place podcast

It is like a letter from a wise friend who happens to have done years of research (...) I am grateful for it ― Aida Edemariam, The Guardian

A wise book on parents and children ― Saturday Times

The main message is that is that it's best to acknowledge, rather than dismiss, children's feelings (...) and that parenting is not about perfection ― iWeekend

PHILIPPA PERRY has been a psychotherapist for the past twenty years. She is an agony aunt for Red Magazine, a freelance writer, and a TV and radio presenter. She has written two other books: Couch Fiction and How to Stay Sane. She lives in London with her husband the artist Grayson Perry, and they have a grown-up daughter, Flo. Her bestselling book The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read was published in 2019.